Tag Archives: running

Hi. I am still fat

Sooooo, I have not written in a very long time. And that is because I have been eating.

Last Nov/December I had started on a re-freshed weight loss effort. My motivation was my friend’s wedding where I was going to be a bridesmaid. I deliberately sent measurements that were an inch less than the real ones to force me to lose weight. If i was fat, I woudn’t be able to fit into the dress.

I did very well by going down from 91.2kg to 87.2kg.

BUT! I ended up not being able to go for the wedding because of finances.

PLUS, December happened.

So, I have re-gained it all… well, I was 90.2 this morning 😦

The Goal

I would like to lose 10kgs by 30 April 2017 – 3.5 months from now

Part 1: I want to drop 5kgs first. This needs to happen by 15 February – About a month from now. This equates to about 1kg per week. And I believe it is possible as I have done it before.

Part 2: After the first 5kg is done, I will work towards the other 5kgs. I know it will be harder, that’s why I am giving myself more time to get rid of it.

I am hoping that by 30 April, I would have adopted healthier eating habits, smaller portions and more exercise.

The 2017 Plan

To fight the fat, I am going to eat less. My new job makes that very possible. I am too far from any shops and so, can’t just go out the door for a quick snack.

Whatever I bring from home is all I can eat.

I don’t eat breakfast anymore. I only have lunch at 12pm. Usually I will have 3 or 4 slices of bread with tomato, ham and slice of cheese. And then not eat anything until I have supper at home.

Yesterday I was bad and spent waaaay too much money on a piece of carrot cake from the coffee shop downstairs. That won’t be happening again because it is a waste of money and I ALWAYS feel bad when I eat like that.

One thing I need to learn how to do is to portion control dinner. Because my last meal was at lunch, I find myself eating way too much at supper.

Last week I did ok with regards to this “diet”, but had potato chips and other stuff. The weekend I binged quite a bit – IT WAS BAD. Wolfing down 8 KFC wings + a big packet of potato chips is not normal.

I want to start running.. even if it is for 10 minutes. That’s where the challenge is going to be.

 

 

Accountability: Day 11!

Waw… I can’t believe I’ve been this consistent!

Food Diary

Mid-morning – 1 slice low calorie bread, 1 slice of cheese

Lunch – Sweet Potato and butternut with a small chicken breast

Mid-afternoon – Chocolate

Dinner – 1/5 cup rice with minced meat mixed with veggies, spinach, 2 glasses of wine

MyFitness Pal Summary:

20 Aug Thur

The chocolate was my worst food choice of the day. They were given to us in the office, and, of course, Sharon couldn’t say NO.

My biggest shame is that I didn’t exercise yesterday. Reasons ranged from someone coming to see a couch I’m selling, to the mountain of work I need to get done.

Today I don’t have an excuse, and will do my 10 minutes.

I just read an article on MyFitness Pal website about a woman’s journey to lose weight, and she did it thorugh recording her food on the App. She said she included EVERY SINGLE DAY, good ones and bad one. This was very motivating for me, as I have been doing the same.

Accountability: Day 9

Right. Day 9 was not perfect, but I’ve had worse. It was heavier on the carbs side of things, though I didn’t have more than my recommended daily amount.

Anyway, food diary:

Mid- morning – 2 muffins and cup of coffee

Lunch – 4 slices low carb brown bread, 2 slices cheese

Dinner – rice with curried beef stir fry and glass red wine

dinner 18 aug

I didn’t snack yesterday.. which is great. There was a time when I had an “empty stomach” feeling in the afternoon about an hour after eating lunch. But obviously I wasn’t hungry. I distracted myself with work, and I managed not to go in search of a chocolate or whatever.

I did not exercise yesterday… the blatant truth is that I didn’t feel like it. However, I was active through out the evening by doing a bit of laundry, and beginning the process of getting rid of things I do not use in preparation of moving out of my flat in a couple of weeks.

MyFitness Pal Summary

18 Aug Tue

Today is a new day….

However, my sister is visiting for a week. She arrives tomorrow, and it’s going to be a challenge making good food choices. The only way I can think of curbing the effects of whatever eating shall happen is to exercise EVERYDAY. Even if it’s high intensity for 10 minutes.

I also find it very inspirational when I see Transformation Tuesday images in Instagram and the like. If those people can do it, there is ABSOLUTELY no reason why I can’t either. It’s all about learning and adjusting your mindset and refusing to have food controlling you.

I’ve gained 2kg since I last wrote

I’ve been avoiding writing, because I have been avoiding accountability for my actions. For some strange reason I have been believing that I am going to lose weight and come back to write about my amazing success story.

This has not happened. The opposite has happened and I think it is because I have been running away from facing my reality… which is that I’ve been slipping back into my old ways.

I had been drinking a lot more than usual (a couple of bottles during the week, 1 bottle on Friday, 2 bottles on Saturday, Beers on Sunday).

I have also developed a taste for mid-afternoon chocolate (Cudbary Caramel)…

Since last Saturday, I decided to quit alcohol all together for a month (to see if it’ll influence my weight-loss efforts). I managed to be alcohol free until Friday, when I had one glass of red wine, then had 2 glasses of white on Saturday evening, one glass of white on Sunday afternoon, then one glass on Monday afternoon (basically I had one bottle over a period of 3 days, as opposed to 1 bottle over a period of 3 hours).

I have just read my last two blog posts, and I have not achieved any of the goals I set for myself. I did not lose 3kgs before my birthday, which was 6 weeks ago. My weight has basically remained stagnant.

I have tried to avoid making my weight the centre of my world. I have also avoided stepping on the scale obsessively every morning like I used to so that I develop a “healthy” sense of self and existence.

This has not worked. By taking my eye off the ball, I have gained weight.

I have reset the weight loss button. I know what has worked for me in the past, and I know what needs to happen for me to lose weight.

It is time to be more accountable, watch what I eat, welcome the guilt that comes with bad food options, be proud of having a day of clean eating, and begin exercise… even if it’s just 10 minutes.

I think I know why I’ve been eating so much

You know how they say binge eating is cause by emotional problems? And I’ve never considered myself a person with emotional problems…. I’m not grieving, I haven’t broken up with anyone, I’m not depressed etc.

However, I am unhappy about work. Not the actual job itself, but I’m frustrated about my salary. I don’t want to earn more money, I NEEEEEED to earn more money. I can’t afford anything (except for food… ironically) right now and it’s frustrating.

When I was content, I could wholeheartedly concentrate on my weight loss goals and changing my mindset towards food and exercise.

Right now I feel as if I have a lot on my mind and food helps me quiet down the voices and numb the feelings of anxiety I have about the future.

I was hoping to be well on my way to saving up for a trip to Europe next year… but I don’t have enough money to be putting into savings for a trip to Zim this December, let alone a trip to Europe.

I feel like I’m floating in nothing-ness and don’t know how to jump onto the next ship and sail to contentment…. I feel stuck.

Obviously, I could job hunt and look for something else, but it’s not so easy(there aren’t a lot of positions available for me at the moment).

Anyway, I stepped on the scale and saw what I was expecting…92.0kg. I’m not surprised considering the type of weekend I had.

I had FOUR pieces of KFC chicken and wine on Friday night. Saturday my beloved boyfriend decided we were gonna have pizza for lunch (I didn’t protest because I wasn’t in the mood to argue… and I didn’t have an alternative to suggest anyway).

Saturday evening I has some more of  the left over pizza from the afternoon… with wine… then began snacking on pop corn, potato chips (with dip) and cake… in between many sips of wine. I had friends over at my place and hence the reason I “let myself go”

Sunday I woke up feeling like shit and really felt like having a veggie type of meal. I needed to get food at the shops because I had nothing in the house. I ended up getting a meal special with macaroni cheese and a broccoli and cauliflower bake and chicken nuggets. I also got some roasted chicken.

I ate half the portion of the mac & cheese and broccoli bake and some chicken thigh + drumstick.

I slept all afternoon, then had a snack of crackers and cream cheese. I have no idea how much I ate… There wasn’t much cream cheese left…about 2 tablespoons or so.

Dinner, I fried spinach with beef and had it with the left over mac & cheese and broccoli bake. And just before bed, I had a drumstick because I’m greedy.

Anyway, today is a new day. As I said in my previous blog, I’d like to lose 3kgs by my birthday on 6 July. I have 4 weeks to achieve this. It sounds easy enough in my head… but doing it is another story.

Today I am definitely walking home, and I will go on a quick 10 -15 minute run.

I’ve not written in a while…and i’ve regained weight

By 1 March 2015, i’d managed to go down in weight to 87kg. I was a very happy girl who watched what she ate and exercised as much as her laziness would allow her.

But, something happened…I got a boyfriend. Someone who told me I was beautiful and wonderful….someone who said my “curves” are what caught his eye. Someone who wasn’t disgusted by what I look like.

And obviously with new love comes loads of dinner dates… and we are both wine lovers… so wine intake has increased.

In the 10 weeks or so I’ve been with him, I’ve put on 4kgs. Sometime last week I weighed more that I have ever weighed in my WHOLE life… a super sexy 92kgs… just 8kgs away from 100kgs. This morning I was 91.5kg 😦

I’ve gone on a couple of runs with him… but he can’t join me everyday because of work… He has suggested running in the morning, but i am more likely to sell my soul to the devil than wake up every morning to go for a run.

I’ve not stepped inside the gym for about 2 months now… I’ve simply not felt like it. And I have suffered because of it.

The scale is showing me that I do not have the luxury of eating what I want and not exercising.

So I need to get back on track.

I’d told myself, earlier this year, that I’d lose 10kg by my birthday on 6 July.

Obviously, unless i stop eating altogether, this isn’t going to happen.

However, I challenge myself to lose 3kgs by 6 July 2015.

I have decided to do at least 10 minutes of exercise EVERYDAY. And by exercise I mean sweating, out of breathe, heart pumping.

I have an 8 week running challenge I’ll be starting on today… It’s for Mon, Wed and Friday… on the other days I’ll do a 10 minute exercise video.

By the end of June I would have lost 3kgs.

I am going to start writing again, because this has helped me in the past. When I stopped writing, I started gaining weight. Writing helps me confront my eating and exercise habits. and writing my goals helps make me accountable.

Also, I love writing about my achievements… and reading on previous challenges that I have overcome.

Let’s do this!

Of Binging and Exercising

I believe I ate too much on Saturday and Sunday.

Food

Actually, I drank too much on Saturday, and ate too much on Sunday.

The reason why I feel bad for drinking too much on Saturday is because there was no social occasion that called for plenty of wine. I was at home alone all weekend, and there was no reason for me to overindulge as I did. I ate too much potato at supper, as a result.

On Sunday, I kinda started off on the wrong note. I had a cup of coffee with 2 pieces of carrot cake in the morning. Then I had two sausages, two boiled eggs and two slices of toast at noon. Later in the afternoon I had quite a bit of ice-cream, then decided I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted a packet of potato chips, so I went to the shop to get some. Then I decided I wanted ANOTHER piece of cake! Supper was some pizza and a piece of chicken.

Exercise

Last week, I did quite well in the exercise department. As I mentioned in my previous blog, my friend and I decided to challenged each other by exercising everyday last week.

Though I did not exercise every day, I exercised on most days. I hit the gym on Tuesday and Thursday, walked home on Wednesday, did some stretching exercises on Saturday and wend for a 30 minute run on Sunday.

I HATED the Sunday run… but I was glad I did it.

Because of last week’s exercise, I managed to drop a kilo, despite my eating being on the ‘bad-ish’ side last week.

Soooo, it can be declared rather obvious that I need to run to lose weight. I need to RUN! Previously, my gym exercise involved the ”high incline treadmill” on which I’d basically walk up hill for 30 minutes… And I did not see significant results.

But, last week, I ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes… with some walking in between, of course.

I’d like to continue running this week and see what the results will be. If I drop another kilo, I will declare running the solution to my weight loss problem!!!

Yeeees, being drunk isn’t good for a person on a diet

I was gonna say alcohol is bad, but it’s not the drink, its the drunkeness.

This was evidenced by my experience on Saturday night. The day started off perfectly. With two slices of toast with cheese and coffee, then a 45 minute session at the gym.

I then decided I wanted sushi for lunch (it was a hot day and sushi seemed like a good idea). … but because I went to the shop while hungry, I added a small packet of Doritos and a thing of Camembert to the basket.

I enjoyed my sushi with a glass of wine, then had the doritos, then had a bit of the Camembert.

That binge monster was trying to take over me…. but I managed to stop.

Then, I was invited to a braai (BBQ). I arrived after all the cooking had been done, so all I had to do was eat.

I actually did well. I had a tomato a bit of cucumber and some pineapple on the side, then had 2 chicken thighs, 2 drumsticks and a small piece of pork. It was ALL delicious, but I was more focused on having some wine than in eating.

I drank and drank and drank. Now, things became foggy.

It’s only this morning that I’m remembering some of my ‘sins’.

At some point I was sitting in a corner having a big packet of potato chips. I don’t know why I had them. I think it was because they were there. I wasn’t physically present during the munching. I can’t even remember what flavour they were. But I do know I did not finish the packet, but I had most of it.

Then, when we got to my friend’s house, someone decided we were hungry, so they went to get some burgers and fries. I had totally forgotten about this midnight munch until an hour ago (that’s what made me decide to write about this).

Sunday, I was a very good girl. I ate very well and loaded up on water. Once upon a time I’d have decided that I’m hungover and deserve a huge meal of some sort, together with packets of potato chips thrown in the mix.

Anyway, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was 1.5kg heavier than last Monday. I wanted to cry, but didn’t. I have no one to blame but myself.

All I can do is pick myself up and try AGAIN.

I went to the gym at lunch time and did 20 minutes on the treadmill. I know it is not a lot, but for me, it’s a BIG deal. Especially considering that I had to debate whether I would go. I ended up just taking my bag without thinking about it and going.

I’ll be walking home after work. And I have reset the weight-loss button and will work hard this week.

I need to push up my exercise because that is the ONLY way I will avoid gaining weight during the Season to be Merry. I have another ‘do’ to attend this weekend, then next weekend I get on a plane to Harare for another 2 week long party (and to be reminded of how fat I am by my loving family)

Aluta Continua.

Not giving into negativity (Trying)

It’s hard sometimes.
I’ve had one goal… ONE, this whole year…
To drop at least 5kgs…. but i’ve managed to gain 6kgs.
I know I’ve been a bad girl through out the year. I remember all the munching I did.
All the obsessive eating I did. Sometimes eating, not because I want to, but because I have to. If it was 2pm, it was automatically time for a big packet of potato chips followed by a chocolate.
If it was Monday, I HAD to go and get a big slice of Lemon cake with all its lovely sinful joy of REAL cream.

Then I realised I need to get my shit together. I need to cut out all the bad stuff. I even tried to go carb free. I failed, but I learned how to eat less carbs.

The last three weeks I’ve had some for of exercise almost EVERYDAY. Whether its just the 30 minute walk home, or doing squats in front of the tv. Of late, I CANNOT complete my day without breaking a sweat. This has been because of the motivation that has come with the Fit2Feast challenge.

90% of my eating has been clean. I don’t do alcohol from Sunday to Thursday. I eat a bowl of veggies for lunch everyday. I have half the portion I used to for supper. Yes, I’ve had 3 packets of potato chips in the last 3 weeks (literally one per week… on Saturday afternoon). I’ve also had some ice cream… about a cup of ice cream most nights.

Anyway, despite all my efforts the last 3 weeks, I have seen zero progress. NONE!!! I measured my arms, I seem to be 1 cm bigger. The scale has been telling me the same story the last 3 weeks (betweeb 89.5kg and 90.5kg).

surely I should’ve dropped a kilo or two by now??? I weigh 1 kilo more than I did last Thursday. I wanted to cry this morning. And had a “I might as well eat whatever I want, if carrots and shit aren’t helping me” attitude.

But because this thought crossed my mind, I did not carry any money with me to work. None!

But, I went to the gym this afternoon, and had a good session. And I feel good. I’ve got no cravings, I’m not regretting leaving my money at home. Even if I had carried my card, I doubt I’d have gone to look for food.

Anyway, Aluta Continua!!

November2

Please allow me to vent

It was weigh-in Wednesday today…

Last Wednesday, I was 89.5kg… today, I was a lovely bouncy 90.2kg!

700grams heavier… that’s 1.7 pounds…

I want to scream loud… very very loud! Have I been eating clean? I’d say 70% of the time I have. I watch what I eat… almost to the point of obsession.

Yes, last week I had about 1 cup of ice cream everyday after dinner (250 calories)… Yes I had about 4 bottles of wine between last Thursday and Sunday, and I had one big packet of potato chips on Saturday… but I’ve been a good girl!!!

I’ve eaten my veggies, I’ve exercised, walked home (30 minutes, 3 out of 5 days last week and everyday this week).

I’ve eaten better in the last 2 weeks than I have in a long long time!

I was expecting to be 1 kg down this week. I was expecting a 88.5kg on that scale. But instead, I see a 90.2!!!!

Yes, I have measured my arms and belly to see if it’s ”muscle”, and guess what? my arms are 1cm bigger…. though my belly is about 2cm smaller.

Golly!!!!! I wanna scream.

Now, when I go home to the Republic of Zimbabwe, I’m gonna have to endure the, you’re so fat! you’re so big! what have you been eating! jibes… I’m the fat one in the family… and I’m not just talking mum, dad and sisters, I’m talking aunts, uncles, cousins.

The days of my life…. 😦

Anyway, I’ll be going to the gym today and try get some strength training done… and maybe do 10minutes on the treadmill….

Fuck I hate being fat!!!!!!