Tag Archives: over eating

Hi. I am still fat

Sooooo, I have not written in a very long time. And that is because I have been eating.

Last Nov/December I had started on a re-freshed weight loss effort. My motivation was my friend’s wedding where I was going to be a bridesmaid. I deliberately sent measurements that were an inch less than the real ones to force me to lose weight. If i was fat, I woudn’t be able to fit into the dress.

I did very well by going down from 91.2kg to 87.2kg.

BUT! I ended up not being able to go for the wedding because of finances.

PLUS, December happened.

So, I have re-gained it all… well, I was 90.2 this morning 😦

The Goal

I would like to lose 10kgs by 30 April 2017 – 3.5 months from now

Part 1: I want to drop 5kgs first. This needs to happen by 15 February – About a month from now. This equates to about 1kg per week. And I believe it is possible as I have done it before.

Part 2: After the first 5kg is done, I will work towards the other 5kgs. I know it will be harder, that’s why I am giving myself more time to get rid of it.

I am hoping that by 30 April, I would have adopted healthier eating habits, smaller portions and more exercise.

The 2017 Plan

To fight the fat, I am going to eat less. My new job makes that very possible. I am too far from any shops and so, can’t just go out the door for a quick snack.

Whatever I bring from home is all I can eat.

I don’t eat breakfast anymore. I only have lunch at 12pm. Usually I will have 3 or 4 slices of bread with tomato, ham and slice of cheese. And then not eat anything until I have supper at home.

Yesterday I was bad and spent waaaay too much money on a piece of carrot cake from the coffee shop downstairs. That won’t be happening again because it is a waste of money and I ALWAYS feel bad when I eat like that.

One thing I need to learn how to do is to portion control dinner. Because my last meal was at lunch, I find myself eating way too much at supper.

Last week I did ok with regards to this “diet”, but had potato chips and other stuff. The weekend I binged quite a bit – IT WAS BAD. Wolfing down 8 KFC wings + a big packet of potato chips is not normal.

I want to start running.. even if it is for 10 minutes. That’s where the challenge is going to be.

 

 

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The YO-YO is the devil!

So, i had been doing well… watching my food and recording it everyday etc.

Then I stopped because I believed I was too busy to write and to log my food.

The result has been devastating.

One week of bad eating has seen me put on 3kgs! i kid you not.

The most logical explanation for this is that I am yo-yoing.

By eating fewer calories one week, then eating too many the next week, I’m gaining a lot of weight.

I might lose 1kg by eating well one week, then regain 2kg the next week when eating badly.

So, last week has been a lesson for me NOT TO DROP THE BALL!!!

Exercise will become easier for me as we head into summer with the sun rising earlier in the morning (for morning runs) and setting later (for after-work runs).

I’ve planned this week’s lunches, already (low carb veggies with a piece of chicken breast.)

Dinner will be the usual rice, meat and veg.

NO SNACKS!!!!! and no mid-week wine.

I’ll need to get fruit to nibble on mid-afternoon.

It’s a pity I have no self- discipline, otherwise, I’d get a packet of little chocolates and only have one per day.

Accountability: Day 10

Ok, my eating this week hasn’t been very good in terms of trying to keep things low carbs and higher in vegetables. I’ve had far fewer veggies as compared to last week, and I intend on getting back on track starting today.

Food Diary:

Mid-morning – 2 muffins, coffee

Lunch – 4 slices low carb brown bread, 2 slices cheese

Dinner – half cup of savoury rice, small quarter chicken and chicken pops and 2 glasses white wine.

dinner 19 Aug

MyFitness Pal summary

19 Aug Wed

The poppers were my worst food decision of the day. I saw them, bought them and ate them without thinking, at all. I need to be extra super careful when I go to the shops.

I did a bit of exercise. Just some squats and press ups. I will be going for a run tonight

Accountability: Day 9

Right. Day 9 was not perfect, but I’ve had worse. It was heavier on the carbs side of things, though I didn’t have more than my recommended daily amount.

Anyway, food diary:

Mid- morning – 2 muffins and cup of coffee

Lunch – 4 slices low carb brown bread, 2 slices cheese

Dinner – rice with curried beef stir fry and glass red wine

dinner 18 aug

I didn’t snack yesterday.. which is great. There was a time when I had an “empty stomach” feeling in the afternoon about an hour after eating lunch. But obviously I wasn’t hungry. I distracted myself with work, and I managed not to go in search of a chocolate or whatever.

I did not exercise yesterday… the blatant truth is that I didn’t feel like it. However, I was active through out the evening by doing a bit of laundry, and beginning the process of getting rid of things I do not use in preparation of moving out of my flat in a couple of weeks.

MyFitness Pal Summary

18 Aug Tue

Today is a new day….

However, my sister is visiting for a week. She arrives tomorrow, and it’s going to be a challenge making good food choices. The only way I can think of curbing the effects of whatever eating shall happen is to exercise EVERYDAY. Even if it’s high intensity for 10 minutes.

I also find it very inspirational when I see Transformation Tuesday images in Instagram and the like. If those people can do it, there is ABSOLUTELY no reason why I can’t either. It’s all about learning and adjusting your mindset and refusing to have food controlling you.

Accountability: Day 8 – ACHIEVEMENTS!!

Whoop Whoop! I have written my food diary for 8 days in a row, and I ain’t about to stop! I’ve never been a consistent person, and I am proud of my little achievement so far.

Even the scale has rewarded me. I’ve dropped 1.5kg in the last 10 days, and I am not hoping, but I WILL be seeing more and better results going forward. My end goal is to lose 10kg, but I will celebrate each kg as it comes off.

Food diary:

mid morning – coffee and 2 small muffins

Lunch – 4 slices low calorie bread, 2 slices of cheese

Dinner – creamed spinach, roast potato, 2.5 sausages and a small piece of chicken I forgot to have at lunch.

dinner 17 aug

MyFitness Pal summary:

17 Aug mon

Despite having a heavier carb day, as compared to last week, but I’ve managed to stay below the recommended amount from MyFitness Pal.

I’m going to be eating similarly to yesterday, today… and possibly the rest of the week.

I got some exercise in yesterday… WHOOP WHOOP! I jogged on the spot while watching a show.

I’m proud of my small steps towards progress 🙂

Accountability: Days 5, 6 and 7

The weekend has always been one of my biggest downfalls.  I let go, because the structure of Monday to Friday is gone. From Friday night I am indulging in wine, and generally unhealthy food options. Saturday and Sunday I want a big lunch, snacks during the afternoon, then a big dinner. Oh, and loads of wine.

This weekend was a bit different. I have noticed that my afternoon snack cravings have gone down a lot. Maybe it’s because of my mindfulness, or maybe it’s because I take a long nap in the afternoon. I’m not sure yet. But I’m glad the cravings have died down quite a bit.

Anyway, food diary time:

Friday 14 August

Mid-morning breakfast – Cup of coffee with and Apricot Muffin

breakfast 14 Aug

Lunch – Mixed veg and chicken

lunch 14 aug

Afternoon Snacks – Cadbury caramel chocolate, chocolate mousse cake

Dinner – Steamed spinach and pork

dinner 14 Aug

Through out the day I had a total of 5 glasses of wine.

MyFitness Pal summary:

14 Aug Fri

As you can see I went waaay over my daily limit. But, one bounces back from such lessons. The truth is, there have been worse days of eating. I could easily have wolfed down a big packet of potato chips that night after dinner.

Saturday 15 August

Brunch – Ciabatta Sandwich with bacon and brie

Afternoon snack – Honey and mustard popcorn

Dinner – Mashed potato, beef stew, steamed spinach

Dinner 15 Aug

Then 4 glasses of wine through out the day.

I woke up feeling like shit on Saturday morning, and that’s what motivated me to do my first bit of exercising in many many weeks. I did 20 minutes of aerobics that got my heart pumping and me sweating. It also earned me extra calories on MyFitness Pal, which I always appreciate.

MyFitness Pal summary

15 Aug Sat

Sunday 16 Aug

Brunch – 3 slices Brown bread, 2 eggs, 2.5 sausages

lunch 16 aug

Dinner – roast potato, steamed veg, 2 thighs, drumstick, wing

dinner 16 aug

I ate more than I intended during dinner. The binge monster gripped me and for whatever reason, I felt I could not say no to it. I think it happened because the food was there. I cooked extra pieces of chicken to eat on Monday for lunch or dinner. But instead, I ate it all 😦

My Fitness Pal summary:

16 Aug Sun

I have decided to exercise every day this week. Starting today. Since I have started being accountable, I feel it’ll be motivating for me to see MyFitnessPal tell me I’ll weigh 3kgs less than I do in 5 weeks.

I have also started weighing myself every morning again, to help keep track of my progress and to motivate myself. I’m very aware that weight fluctuates from day to day, but stepping on the scale everyday reminds me every day to stay focused and avoid bad food.

I’ve gained 2kg since I last wrote

I’ve been avoiding writing, because I have been avoiding accountability for my actions. For some strange reason I have been believing that I am going to lose weight and come back to write about my amazing success story.

This has not happened. The opposite has happened and I think it is because I have been running away from facing my reality… which is that I’ve been slipping back into my old ways.

I had been drinking a lot more than usual (a couple of bottles during the week, 1 bottle on Friday, 2 bottles on Saturday, Beers on Sunday).

I have also developed a taste for mid-afternoon chocolate (Cudbary Caramel)…

Since last Saturday, I decided to quit alcohol all together for a month (to see if it’ll influence my weight-loss efforts). I managed to be alcohol free until Friday, when I had one glass of red wine, then had 2 glasses of white on Saturday evening, one glass of white on Sunday afternoon, then one glass on Monday afternoon (basically I had one bottle over a period of 3 days, as opposed to 1 bottle over a period of 3 hours).

I have just read my last two blog posts, and I have not achieved any of the goals I set for myself. I did not lose 3kgs before my birthday, which was 6 weeks ago. My weight has basically remained stagnant.

I have tried to avoid making my weight the centre of my world. I have also avoided stepping on the scale obsessively every morning like I used to so that I develop a “healthy” sense of self and existence.

This has not worked. By taking my eye off the ball, I have gained weight.

I have reset the weight loss button. I know what has worked for me in the past, and I know what needs to happen for me to lose weight.

It is time to be more accountable, watch what I eat, welcome the guilt that comes with bad food options, be proud of having a day of clean eating, and begin exercise… even if it’s just 10 minutes.

I think I know why I’ve been eating so much

You know how they say binge eating is cause by emotional problems? And I’ve never considered myself a person with emotional problems…. I’m not grieving, I haven’t broken up with anyone, I’m not depressed etc.

However, I am unhappy about work. Not the actual job itself, but I’m frustrated about my salary. I don’t want to earn more money, I NEEEEEED to earn more money. I can’t afford anything (except for food… ironically) right now and it’s frustrating.

When I was content, I could wholeheartedly concentrate on my weight loss goals and changing my mindset towards food and exercise.

Right now I feel as if I have a lot on my mind and food helps me quiet down the voices and numb the feelings of anxiety I have about the future.

I was hoping to be well on my way to saving up for a trip to Europe next year… but I don’t have enough money to be putting into savings for a trip to Zim this December, let alone a trip to Europe.

I feel like I’m floating in nothing-ness and don’t know how to jump onto the next ship and sail to contentment…. I feel stuck.

Obviously, I could job hunt and look for something else, but it’s not so easy(there aren’t a lot of positions available for me at the moment).

Anyway, I stepped on the scale and saw what I was expecting…92.0kg. I’m not surprised considering the type of weekend I had.

I had FOUR pieces of KFC chicken and wine on Friday night. Saturday my beloved boyfriend decided we were gonna have pizza for lunch (I didn’t protest because I wasn’t in the mood to argue… and I didn’t have an alternative to suggest anyway).

Saturday evening I has some more of  the left over pizza from the afternoon… with wine… then began snacking on pop corn, potato chips (with dip) and cake… in between many sips of wine. I had friends over at my place and hence the reason I “let myself go”

Sunday I woke up feeling like shit and really felt like having a veggie type of meal. I needed to get food at the shops because I had nothing in the house. I ended up getting a meal special with macaroni cheese and a broccoli and cauliflower bake and chicken nuggets. I also got some roasted chicken.

I ate half the portion of the mac & cheese and broccoli bake and some chicken thigh + drumstick.

I slept all afternoon, then had a snack of crackers and cream cheese. I have no idea how much I ate… There wasn’t much cream cheese left…about 2 tablespoons or so.

Dinner, I fried spinach with beef and had it with the left over mac & cheese and broccoli bake. And just before bed, I had a drumstick because I’m greedy.

Anyway, today is a new day. As I said in my previous blog, I’d like to lose 3kgs by my birthday on 6 July. I have 4 weeks to achieve this. It sounds easy enough in my head… but doing it is another story.

Today I am definitely walking home, and I will go on a quick 10 -15 minute run.

Something strange is happening

…This weekend I drank and ate quite a bit. Last week also, I ate a bit more than usual….

Now, I hopped onto the scale and I saw an 88.0kg… I have not seen an 88.0 since last year!… Just 100grams less, and I’ll be in the 87s! I’ve beeeeen aiming for the 87s since last October… but have been stuck between 89.5kg and 88.5kgs for months!

I can’t believe this is happening because I’ve not been exercising much…though I’ve been walking home (30minutes), from work most days. Last week I ate an extra 300 calories or so almost everyday with chocolate or ice cream. This last weekend, I drank a lot of wine, had a braai (BBQ)…where it was evident that my eating habits have definitely changed.

I had a little bit of everything… and I mean a little bit. There was a lot of food, but had much less than I would have a year ago. Last January, I would have eaten to the point of being upset that I’m full and can’t have more…but eat more anyway.

Sunday, I managed not to spend the day binging. Though I did go out and have 3 ciders in the evening.

So, this is why I am sooo surprised at the scale. I hope it’s not false hope.

Also, this week I am super broke, so I will not be able to buy ”celebratory’ food. Let’s see how this week ends… It’s gonna be interesting.

I’m slipping, I’m falling…can I get up?

I feel as if I did not do well this week. I only went to the gym on Tuesday… I did the 30 minute walk home on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

Thursday I was supposed to have gone to the gym, but felt ‘lazy’. I was supposed to go at lunch time, then decided I’d go after work, then decided I’d walk home then go for a run (I walked… but didn’t run).

Procrastination is definitely my number ONE enemy.

I feel super bad about this because last week, I did very well and the scale reflected my efforts. I vowed that I would exercise this week as a way to see if running is definitely what I need to drop the kilos…. but alas… laziness got in the way.

Laziness and seeing results. This has been one of my biggest challenges. Every time I start seeing that the weight is dropping (and mind you, it’ll be something like 500gram weight loss), I get excited and chill on the exercise.

The food side, I have not fared better either. It has mainly to do with access to this extra food.

I had a piece of cake, then ice cream (BEFORE supper) on Monday . Tuesday, I may have had a chocolate… I can’t remember to be honest. Wednesday, I had ice cream (before supper again), Thursday was very bad… I had a packet of chocolate coated peanuts (a good 500 calories or so).

The chocolate coated peanuts episode was quite bad… It was one of those brainless, thoughtless, I-have-no-control moments. I inhaled those nuts in less than 10 minutes. And guess how I felt after???? I felt like shit!

And I thought to myself, you should go and run this rubbish off after work… but instead I just walked home.

Now. I need to come up with a going forward plan.

I know I am capable of changing my habits because I now drink less than half the amount of wine I used to (I used to drink every night, but now I only drink on Friday and Saturday), I have stopped my 4 or 5 afternoons per week binges that involved packets of potato chips and I stay the heck away from the bakery section. I have a large portion of mixed veggies with my lunch everyday and aim to do the half plate of veggies on my plate at supper.

Also, with the Fit2Fitness challenge I did last November, I developed a ”need to sweat” feeling every day… meaning I did at least 10 minutes of exercise everyday, even after the 30 days of the challenge was over. I fell off that wagon when I was away for 2 weeks during Christmas holidays.

Obviously, I’m not always perfect… I do slip… but these last two weeks I’ve slipped too many times.

I believe this is the year I WILL LOSE 10kgs!!! That’s all I want to lose… 10kgs… at the same time, I want to continue developing better eating habits and find… somewhere deep inside me, that love for exercise…