Tag Archives: cravings

Hi. I am still fat

Sooooo, I have not written in a very long time. And that is because I have been eating.

Last Nov/December I had started on a re-freshed weight loss effort. My motivation was my friend’s wedding where I was going to be a bridesmaid. I deliberately sent measurements that were an inch less than the real ones to force me to lose weight. If i was fat, I woudn’t be able to fit into the dress.

I did very well by going down from 91.2kg to 87.2kg.

BUT! I ended up not being able to go for the wedding because of finances.

PLUS, December happened.

So, I have re-gained it all… well, I was 90.2 this morning 😦

The Goal

I would like to lose 10kgs by 30 April 2017 – 3.5 months from now

Part 1: I want to drop 5kgs first. This needs to happen by 15 February – About a month from now. This equates to about 1kg per week. And I believe it is possible as I have done it before.

Part 2: After the first 5kg is done, I will work towards the other 5kgs. I know it will be harder, that’s why I am giving myself more time to get rid of it.

I am hoping that by 30 April, I would have adopted healthier eating habits, smaller portions and more exercise.

The 2017 Plan

To fight the fat, I am going to eat less. My new job makes that very possible. I am too far from any shops and so, can’t just go out the door for a quick snack.

Whatever I bring from home is all I can eat.

I don’t eat breakfast anymore. I only have lunch at 12pm. Usually I will have 3 or 4 slices of bread with tomato, ham and slice of cheese. And then not eat anything until I have supper at home.

Yesterday I was bad and spent waaaay too much money on a piece of carrot cake from the coffee shop downstairs. That won’t be happening again because it is a waste of money and I ALWAYS feel bad when I eat like that.

One thing I need to learn how to do is to portion control dinner. Because my last meal was at lunch, I find myself eating way too much at supper.

Last week I did ok with regards to this “diet”, but had potato chips and other stuff. The weekend I binged quite a bit – IT WAS BAD. Wolfing down 8 KFC wings + a big packet of potato chips is not normal.

I want to start running.. even if it is for 10 minutes. That’s where the challenge is going to be.

 

 

FINALLY seeing results!

4 weeks into my low carb lifestyle, and I have began dropping the kilos! (well, I’ve dropped 2kgs and am a sexy 89.6kg this morning)

When I made the decision to go low carb, exactly a month ago, 17 October 2015, I was weighing about 92kgs. And I had been yo-yoing between 90 and 92 since around April of this year. I’ve had a very HEAVY year and I’m hoping this is the beginning of positiveness on my weight side.

After 4 weeks of trial and error (discovering with shock the veggies and fruit with high amounts of carbs in them), I have begun to know what works and what doesn’t.

Initially, I was aiming to have less than 100grams of carbs per day, and this was waaay too much. I did my research and learnt I need to have less than 50grams. So, I started aiming for 50grams. But this did not work out.

Then, I’ve begun aiming for less than 30grams of carbs… and FINALLY, I am getting results.

carbs

weight

I’ve been doing high protein with chicken, lean beef, tuna and I’ll be adding chicken livers to my breakfast so that I eat less bacon.

My appetite is lower that it’s ever been. I struggle to reach my daily calorie goals, and sometimes have to force myself to have a tablespoon of peanut butter or something to help up my calories for the day.

I’ve not been doing any “cheat” meals (though I’ll have just ONE bite of my boyfriend’s sandwich or one spoon of his rice).

My boyfriend has also gained a bit of weight, and he has been running his heart out, and he is getting rewarded for it. I am very proud of him! Also, he has been extremely supportive of my low-carb diet, and even “saves” veggies for me to eat.

I’m glad to be finally getting rewarded for sticking with it, despite many set-backs and lack of results.

Ok…so breakfast is a thing.

I decided to have a “proper” breakfast at home this morning… less than 30 minutes after waking up.

I had some beef minced meat, a tomato, some broccoli and 1 egg. It was delicious and satisfying.

This is unlike my usual, I get to work, work for an hour then have “breakfast” around 10am. Breakfast usually being two slices of bread with peanut (during my pre-no-carb days) or scrambled eggs throughout last week.

When I have my “breakfast” at work, in less than 2 hours I start feeling hungry .

Today, on the other hand… It’s been 4 hours since my carb-free breakfast and I do not feel hungry. AT ALL!

I’ve been sipping on water all morning (it’s an extremely hot day today), and I am not craving anything.

Lunch is going to be a leafy green salad with olives, feta cheese and tomatoes.

Mid-afternoon snack is going to be strawberries

And dinner is going to be mixed GREEN veggies and roast chicken.

What I’m doing that’s different to last week is that I’m not eating every couple of hours. Instead, I’ll still to the tried and tested 3 meals a day and one afternoon snack of strawberries.

Let’s see how this goes.

I have pressed the Re-Set button

So, I began my no-carb journey last week.  Based on my other attempts at diets in my whole life, it was a success.

And by success I mean the only “real” carbs I had in 7 days were popcorn and 2 slices of home-made bread.

However, my drinking was kinda high…and I had 3 biscuits and a tablespoon of pasta on Saturday.

My reward? I dropped 200grams. lol!

My 1st week of going carb free did not make me lose as much weight as I thought I would. I believe I probably ate too many calories… but based on my MyFitness Pal food logs, I never went over 1400 calories.

And for whatever reason, (perhaps it’s depression at not losing any weight) I had a blueberry muffin this morning. And truth is, I enjoyed every bite of it.

I will be doing some circuit exercises this week to try work off that muffin.

But, it is back to super low-carb now.

I won’t be having high carb and high sugar veggies and fruit such as bananas, pineapple, butternut, beans and carrots etc.

I shall be sticking to only green veg… leafy greens, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage with meat.

And on the fruit side, I’ll only have strawberries which are very low in sugar and calories (incredibly low in calories… like 32 calories for 100g) and some watermelon.

No more butternut and very few nuts.

Week 2, let’s do this!

Accountability: Day 10

Ok, my eating this week hasn’t been very good in terms of trying to keep things low carbs and higher in vegetables. I’ve had far fewer veggies as compared to last week, and I intend on getting back on track starting today.

Food Diary:

Mid-morning – 2 muffins, coffee

Lunch – 4 slices low carb brown bread, 2 slices cheese

Dinner – half cup of savoury rice, small quarter chicken and chicken pops and 2 glasses white wine.

dinner 19 Aug

MyFitness Pal summary

19 Aug Wed

The poppers were my worst food decision of the day. I saw them, bought them and ate them without thinking, at all. I need to be extra super careful when I go to the shops.

I did a bit of exercise. Just some squats and press ups. I will be going for a run tonight

Accountability: Day 8 – ACHIEVEMENTS!!

Whoop Whoop! I have written my food diary for 8 days in a row, and I ain’t about to stop! I’ve never been a consistent person, and I am proud of my little achievement so far.

Even the scale has rewarded me. I’ve dropped 1.5kg in the last 10 days, and I am not hoping, but I WILL be seeing more and better results going forward. My end goal is to lose 10kg, but I will celebrate each kg as it comes off.

Food diary:

mid morning – coffee and 2 small muffins

Lunch – 4 slices low calorie bread, 2 slices of cheese

Dinner – creamed spinach, roast potato, 2.5 sausages and a small piece of chicken I forgot to have at lunch.

dinner 17 aug

MyFitness Pal summary:

17 Aug mon

Despite having a heavier carb day, as compared to last week, but I’ve managed to stay below the recommended amount from MyFitness Pal.

I’m going to be eating similarly to yesterday, today… and possibly the rest of the week.

I got some exercise in yesterday… WHOOP WHOOP! I jogged on the spot while watching a show.

I’m proud of my small steps towards progress 🙂

Accountability: Days 5, 6 and 7

The weekend has always been one of my biggest downfalls.  I let go, because the structure of Monday to Friday is gone. From Friday night I am indulging in wine, and generally unhealthy food options. Saturday and Sunday I want a big lunch, snacks during the afternoon, then a big dinner. Oh, and loads of wine.

This weekend was a bit different. I have noticed that my afternoon snack cravings have gone down a lot. Maybe it’s because of my mindfulness, or maybe it’s because I take a long nap in the afternoon. I’m not sure yet. But I’m glad the cravings have died down quite a bit.

Anyway, food diary time:

Friday 14 August

Mid-morning breakfast – Cup of coffee with and Apricot Muffin

breakfast 14 Aug

Lunch – Mixed veg and chicken

lunch 14 aug

Afternoon Snacks – Cadbury caramel chocolate, chocolate mousse cake

Dinner – Steamed spinach and pork

dinner 14 Aug

Through out the day I had a total of 5 glasses of wine.

MyFitness Pal summary:

14 Aug Fri

As you can see I went waaay over my daily limit. But, one bounces back from such lessons. The truth is, there have been worse days of eating. I could easily have wolfed down a big packet of potato chips that night after dinner.

Saturday 15 August

Brunch – Ciabatta Sandwich with bacon and brie

Afternoon snack – Honey and mustard popcorn

Dinner – Mashed potato, beef stew, steamed spinach

Dinner 15 Aug

Then 4 glasses of wine through out the day.

I woke up feeling like shit on Saturday morning, and that’s what motivated me to do my first bit of exercising in many many weeks. I did 20 minutes of aerobics that got my heart pumping and me sweating. It also earned me extra calories on MyFitness Pal, which I always appreciate.

MyFitness Pal summary

15 Aug Sat

Sunday 16 Aug

Brunch – 3 slices Brown bread, 2 eggs, 2.5 sausages

lunch 16 aug

Dinner – roast potato, steamed veg, 2 thighs, drumstick, wing

dinner 16 aug

I ate more than I intended during dinner. The binge monster gripped me and for whatever reason, I felt I could not say no to it. I think it happened because the food was there. I cooked extra pieces of chicken to eat on Monday for lunch or dinner. But instead, I ate it all 😦

My Fitness Pal summary:

16 Aug Sun

I have decided to exercise every day this week. Starting today. Since I have started being accountable, I feel it’ll be motivating for me to see MyFitnessPal tell me I’ll weigh 3kgs less than I do in 5 weeks.

I have also started weighing myself every morning again, to help keep track of my progress and to motivate myself. I’m very aware that weight fluctuates from day to day, but stepping on the scale everyday reminds me every day to stay focused and avoid bad food.

Accountability: Day Four

Yesterday started off well, and ended quite badly. I don’t know how to feel about this. I used to develop a lot of guilt when I eat badly… but all the blogs taught me not to feel bad and to focus on getting back on the right path. I’ve become very good at this, thus having more days of eating badly than eating well. Forgiving myself for mishaps became easier and easier.

I miss feeling guilty and battering myself for bad meal choices. It helped me stay on track.

Anyway, below is my meal diary for 13 August:

Mid morning breakfast – Coffee and 1 queen cake

Lunch – Broccoli and bacon salad, pasta salad with feta, 1/2 chicken breast

lunch 13 Aug

Afternoon snack – Woolworth Pop crisps (air popped potato snack)

Dinner – 1/2 cup spaghetti, broccoli and cauliflower, chicken breast

dinner 13 aug

Wine… 3 glasses of Chenin Blanc

MyFitnessPal summary

13 Aug thur

The Pop Crisps are my biggest regret. Though I enjoyed them.

So, ya…

It’s not looking good. Especially considering that I don’t exercise. The day I regain my desire to sweat, will be the beginning of better things.

There is a dress I bought that I can’t wait to wear in summer. But there is no way I can rock the dress with my arms looking the way they are.

Right now I craving a Woolworths Blueberry Muffin – 387 calories… which really isn’t bad.

Right?

I’ve gained 2kg since I last wrote

I’ve been avoiding writing, because I have been avoiding accountability for my actions. For some strange reason I have been believing that I am going to lose weight and come back to write about my amazing success story.

This has not happened. The opposite has happened and I think it is because I have been running away from facing my reality… which is that I’ve been slipping back into my old ways.

I had been drinking a lot more than usual (a couple of bottles during the week, 1 bottle on Friday, 2 bottles on Saturday, Beers on Sunday).

I have also developed a taste for mid-afternoon chocolate (Cudbary Caramel)…

Since last Saturday, I decided to quit alcohol all together for a month (to see if it’ll influence my weight-loss efforts). I managed to be alcohol free until Friday, when I had one glass of red wine, then had 2 glasses of white on Saturday evening, one glass of white on Sunday afternoon, then one glass on Monday afternoon (basically I had one bottle over a period of 3 days, as opposed to 1 bottle over a period of 3 hours).

I have just read my last two blog posts, and I have not achieved any of the goals I set for myself. I did not lose 3kgs before my birthday, which was 6 weeks ago. My weight has basically remained stagnant.

I have tried to avoid making my weight the centre of my world. I have also avoided stepping on the scale obsessively every morning like I used to so that I develop a “healthy” sense of self and existence.

This has not worked. By taking my eye off the ball, I have gained weight.

I have reset the weight loss button. I know what has worked for me in the past, and I know what needs to happen for me to lose weight.

It is time to be more accountable, watch what I eat, welcome the guilt that comes with bad food options, be proud of having a day of clean eating, and begin exercise… even if it’s just 10 minutes.

I think I know why I’ve been eating so much

You know how they say binge eating is cause by emotional problems? And I’ve never considered myself a person with emotional problems…. I’m not grieving, I haven’t broken up with anyone, I’m not depressed etc.

However, I am unhappy about work. Not the actual job itself, but I’m frustrated about my salary. I don’t want to earn more money, I NEEEEEED to earn more money. I can’t afford anything (except for food… ironically) right now and it’s frustrating.

When I was content, I could wholeheartedly concentrate on my weight loss goals and changing my mindset towards food and exercise.

Right now I feel as if I have a lot on my mind and food helps me quiet down the voices and numb the feelings of anxiety I have about the future.

I was hoping to be well on my way to saving up for a trip to Europe next year… but I don’t have enough money to be putting into savings for a trip to Zim this December, let alone a trip to Europe.

I feel like I’m floating in nothing-ness and don’t know how to jump onto the next ship and sail to contentment…. I feel stuck.

Obviously, I could job hunt and look for something else, but it’s not so easy(there aren’t a lot of positions available for me at the moment).

Anyway, I stepped on the scale and saw what I was expecting…92.0kg. I’m not surprised considering the type of weekend I had.

I had FOUR pieces of KFC chicken and wine on Friday night. Saturday my beloved boyfriend decided we were gonna have pizza for lunch (I didn’t protest because I wasn’t in the mood to argue… and I didn’t have an alternative to suggest anyway).

Saturday evening I has some more of  the left over pizza from the afternoon… with wine… then began snacking on pop corn, potato chips (with dip) and cake… in between many sips of wine. I had friends over at my place and hence the reason I “let myself go”

Sunday I woke up feeling like shit and really felt like having a veggie type of meal. I needed to get food at the shops because I had nothing in the house. I ended up getting a meal special with macaroni cheese and a broccoli and cauliflower bake and chicken nuggets. I also got some roasted chicken.

I ate half the portion of the mac & cheese and broccoli bake and some chicken thigh + drumstick.

I slept all afternoon, then had a snack of crackers and cream cheese. I have no idea how much I ate… There wasn’t much cream cheese left…about 2 tablespoons or so.

Dinner, I fried spinach with beef and had it with the left over mac & cheese and broccoli bake. And just before bed, I had a drumstick because I’m greedy.

Anyway, today is a new day. As I said in my previous blog, I’d like to lose 3kgs by my birthday on 6 July. I have 4 weeks to achieve this. It sounds easy enough in my head… but doing it is another story.

Today I am definitely walking home, and I will go on a quick 10 -15 minute run.