Monthly Archives: September 2014

It’s been a minute

I think it is safe to say, when someone meant to be blogging about their weight loss journey doesn’t do so for a while, things are not going so well.

That has been the case with me. I’m still on square one, though I have been learning a lot about what makes me gain weight, or fail to lose it.

I really believe the yoyo-ing is hampering my progress drastically. I was reading an article about how a woman lost over 100kgs.

She said the reason she gained so much weight was because of yoyo-ing. Each time she went on a diet and lost weight, she would go back to her old ways of eating, and put all the weight back, plus more.

I can testify to this. I will lose weight because I am not eating much. But once I start stuffing my face, I will gain all the weight back, plus extra. And each time I re-gain the weight, it is super super super difficult to lose it again.

I believe I have basically fucked up my metabolism, and my body is holding on to everything I eat.

Because of this, I have decided to avoid, at all costs, indulging at the weekend. From Monday to Friday, I am disciplined, but at the weekend its a continuous stream of food going into my mouth.

Also, I want to focus on doing more strength training. I am hoping that through building muscle, I will kick start and boost my metabolism.

I’m a cardio person, and find weight training super boring, but I will have to find a way to sexy it up.

why am i so lazy??????

I wish I had no-brainer motivation to go to the gym or even go for a run.

I wish it was as automatic as waking up and brushing my teeth every morning.

I do not feel human until I have brushed my teeth.

I wish I could stop wishing and just do it!

They say it takes 21 days to break a habit, and I guess it also takes 21 days to form a habit?

I could set a challenge for myself and go for a run everyday for the next 3 weeks…. it is very possible.

However, getting off that couch or out of that bed is a totally different story.

Maybe I should buy myself an MP3 player and upload crazy awesome run-to music???

Right now it’s raining, so I ain’t going to the gym…

Tomorrow is going to be raining even harder…

sigh.

However, I have been eating well so far this week… Between Monday and Friday, I eat quite well…. However, the weekend is still the death of me… It’s actually gotten worse. So I will need to develop a plan of action for the weekend…

Am I the only one who finds elliptical training hard?

That is one machine I wish I could be the bestest of friends with. It’s like cardio and strength rolled into one.

My favourite part is that my arms and back get to participate and this is a great thing for me, because most of my fat settles itself on my arms and back.

Anyway, in 2 minutes I find myself tired already. Am I going too fast?

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I’ve just come back from the gym and managed to do 8 minutes, that included 3 minutes of “cooling down”, but during that cooling down period I was going faster than I had been during the actual 5 minute work out.

I am hoping to find a formula that will work for me and increase my endurance on the elliptical trainer.

My arms have changed!!

So, a few months ago, there was a dress I saw and absolutely had to have. So after weeks of fantasising about it, I finally could afford it.

So, I went to try it on first, just to make sure it’s as cute on me as it is on the hanger. I then put it on and boy did it look good! I absolutely loved it…. until I saw my arms.

My big sausage arms, with dimples and cellulite and everything in between . I was disgusted with myself and immediately removed the dress. (This was one of my you need to do something about your weight moments).

But, today, I am wearing a sleeveless dress and have noticed the dimples/cellulite is gone!. The arms are still fat, but the little bumps etc are gone!!!! I have checked on 3 different mirrors – the office mirror, the downstairs toilet mirror and the gym mirror.

Could it be my efforts at the gym? Because i want slimmer arms, I target this area when lifting weights. Also, I use this treadmill that has an incline of up to 50% (to simulate climbing a mountain) and it is one of my favourite machines, because it is a great workout I actually complete. Anyway, you have to hold on for dear life when on it, meaning, my arms are also in use.

I also plank while watching tv sometimes…

Hm….

I would like to become a runner

Running has to be the easiest form of exercise on the planet… right?

I used to run when I was in school… I was actually a sprinter and did horribly in longer distance races, though.

But I loved the feeling of running, and I still do on the rare occasions that I do run these days.

My major challenge when it comes to running it simply leaving the house to start the run. There have been occasions when I have changed into my running gear and have decided not to leave the house. Simple as that. I will decide “nah.”, then change back to my pj’s and sit to watch t.v.

Now that winter is headed towards its death, and summer is on its way, I would like to wake up and simply go for a run. Nice simple 20 or 30 minutes….EVERYDAY!!! well, at least on Mon, Wed and Fri… (I’m trying to be realistic here)

I loooooove my sleep, but the last few days, I’ve been waking up at 7am and thinking to myself, wouldn’t it be nice if you went for a run?? The I pull my covers over my head and sleep some more.

But, I seriously think it would benefit me greatly if I went for a run… either in the morning or the evening.

The evening is more realistic, to be honest, but I’d like to get it over with in the morning.

I WANT TO BECOME A RUNNER!!! and I am going to start today after work!!!!

Loneliness makes me binge

I was alone ALL weekend. Friday got home and it was just me and my wine.

Saturday, woke up watched a bit of series, then took a walk to the shops, bought more wine and came back home.

I asked one of my friends what he was up to, he didn’t reply my message.

So, as my sister went out to meet her new friends, I spent the evening alone drinking and dancing.

Sunday, similar story to Saturday… went to the shops to get some food, a late lunch. A friend suggested meeting up, but when I asked where she wants to meet, she didn’t reply.

Anyway, the food side of things wasn’t good.

Friday I had a packet of chips after dinner of fried fish, oven baked chips and creamed veggies.

Saturday, breakfast of two slices of toast, lunch of home-made beef patties with roasted egg-plant and carrots, then a packet of potato chips, then dinner of  a bit of rice with boeriewores and roasted egg-plant and carrots, then a bit of popcorn.

Sunday, had a breakfast of two slices of toast with minced meat and two fried eggs. Then lunch of tandoori chicken (leg and thigh) with chips, then supper of a medium 4-seasons pizza.

All of the above was washed down with lots of wine.

I am currently going through a pathetic, self-pity phase. It’s not the 1st time.

I am not the most popular of people. Which is fine, because I don’t like being the centre of attention anyway. I have my very few friends, whom I rely on for invitations to go out or to parties/drink ups etc.

I don’t know how or where to make new friends, really. I don’t want to be seen as strange for asking people’s phone numbers and asking them out for a drink later… If someone did that with me, I’d wonder what they wanted…

Anyway, these should not be the problems of a 28 year old woman. A 15 year old’s? maybe.

Anyway, hopefully my pathetic phase will end soon together with the binge sessions that make me hate myself even more.

Thanks for letting me vent 🙂

No, but seriously, what makes me binge??

Some days I can’t stop chewing, and other days I will look at  piece of chocolate and not want to have anything to do with it.

Today is a day when I absolutely am not interested in stuffing myself. I went to the shops, where I could have bought something ”satisying” such as roast chicken and chips, or the biggest pie they have. But instead, I got some cheese and ham to put on my bread, which I brought from home. As I was standing in the queue to the till, I picked up a kit kat, then put it back because I decided I’d rather snack on popcorn later in the afternoon.

Now, I had my two slices of bread with cheese and ham, and just had a cup of coffee and I am not even remotely interested in going to get a snack.

The last few days I’ve munched a little more that I should. On Monday I had a muffin in the morning, a small packet of paaper bites after work, and a cupcake after dinner. On Tuesday, I ate well.

On Wednesday I got a packet of wasabi peanuts and a packet of chewy sweets. I had most of the chewy sweets on Wednesday, and some of the wasabi peanuts. On Thursday, I finished off the wasabi peanuts.

What I am trying to discover is WHY one day I can’t stop eating and the next, I will stick to my eating plan with no problem whatsoever?

What I do know:

  • I binge when I am surrounded by food (hence the reason I don’t keep junk food in the house)
  • I binge when I have the money to go buy a snack/snacks (though my will power has improved in this regard)
  • I binge when I am alone – I am too embarrassed to continuously munch in front of other people (even my sister)
  • I binge when I am bored or feeling lonely – food is my only best friend
  • i binge when I don’t ”feel” full
  • I binge when I finish eating and not feel satisfied

These are the reasons so far.

But what I don’t understand is what triggers these binge sessions, because it is not automatic that in the above mentioned times, I will binge. Sometimes I am just not interested in food.

At least I am asking the questions, even if I don’t know the answers. And that is a good sign, right????

I reeeeaaalllly don’t want to go to the gym – edited

I just don’t.

I went on Wednesday… had a good session.

Yesterday I didn’t go because I forgot to carry my gym kit with me to work. I could have gone for a run after work… but I didn’t.

Today, I know I SHOULD go, but I don’t want to.

I downloaded a new audio book. Seems exciting… that could potentially be my only motivation to go to the gym.

Let me look at gym articles and benefits of going to the gym. and how to burn fat fast workout articles.

That usually helps.

Sigh.


 

Anyway, I ended up going to the gym. It wasn’t the best session ever, but I’m proud that I found the motivation to go 🙂

STOP BEING LAZY!!!

AND GO TO THE GYM!!!

I haven’t gone to the gym for the last couple of days because of laziness. Monday, my excuse was that I had to go to the bank at lunch time, though I could’ve gone to the gym after work. Yesterday my excuse was that it was too hot to make the 5 minute walk from my office to the gym.

I really need to come up with some sort of way to motivate me to make my way to the gym. I thought downloading an exciting audio book might motivate me. It worked at first, but now not so much.

I did walk home on Monday and Tuesday, and 99.9% I will walk today as well. The weather has been good enough to encourage me to walk. And I get to listen to my audio book if I walk as well.

Anyway, I need to get off my bum and go to the gym today, tomorrow and Friday and maintain a 3x a week gym habit, that will hopefully increase to more sessions per week as time goes on.

Hello Spring!

For the first time since May, my feet are NOT in socks and are getting kissed by the sun, and so is the rest of my body.

We are having the 1st glimpse of hot summer days later on in the year. And considering how I’ve trying to drop the kilos since April, and have dropped none, I should feel like shit that I have achieved none of my goals.

But I don’t. I feel great. Mainly because, through months of some ups and many of downs, I have learnt a lot about how much hard work weight loss is. I fully understand, now, that it is about changing how and what you eat and not losing weight. Weight loss is just a side-effect.

So, as I said before, I feel great. I am wearing a lovely red dress (though I am wearing shorts underneath to absorb the chafing – fat girl problems! lol). I am hoping as time goes on, I will be able to enjoy the cute skirts,  shorts and dresses our slimmer counterparts enjoy.

Aluta continua!