Monthly Archives: January 1970

I’m upset and afraid of binging

I had a bit of an emotional knock last night when it became evident that a guy I had my eye on actually has an eye on my sister. So, as us fatties know, a great way to numb emotional pain is with comforting, non-judging, will-always-love-you food.

So far I’ve had a big blueberry muffin… about 400 calories (I planned for this… I thought I deserved a treat).

I have planned my lunch to be mixed veggies with feta cheese.

And later a snack of some pineapple.

I am hoping I will be able to ride this wave without messing up my diet. My head tells me I’ll be over this situation in a week… but my heart says all my hopes in life are over.

And naturally, the ”you’re not good enough, you’re fat and ugly, that’s why no one wants you, so you might as well eat and eat and eat, because that is all you are good for” voice is trying to be louder that it’s allowed to be.

It’s gonna be a tough day.

But as I said… my head knows I’ll be over this situation in a week. I will be holding onto this knowledge.

I will be going to the gym this afternoon… to run like a mother******!

However, I might also go shopping and spend money on some cute clothes… 🙂